worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
