you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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