I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
