Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize