In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
