Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
