I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize