Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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