Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
