I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
