Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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