I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
