He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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