Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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