my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
