i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I am naked and annoyed.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
