Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
