I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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