idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Randomize
