Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He kissed a someone with a penis
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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