We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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