I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
