Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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