i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
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It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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