My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
