Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
