I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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