apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
