found the other keg... it's in the tree
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
