OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
