So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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