Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
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There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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