I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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