Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
