Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
