So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
