how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
