Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm eating all of the evidence.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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