the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
