What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
