Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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