"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
After last night, I could never be a politician.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
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did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
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Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child