I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.