Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
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