Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?