I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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