she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
