It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
How external is "for external use only"?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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