I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize