I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
