I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
