I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
