I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
