Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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