i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
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Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
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If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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