He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
