Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
