someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
