white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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