Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
