Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
