His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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