I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize