dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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