If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I will be naked everywhere
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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