omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
