Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
