She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
