I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
