youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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