hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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