I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
