just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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