okay pat passed out under dana's car
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
So. Much. Porn.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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